THE EVOLUTION FROM PRINT TO BLOG

For two years, I wrote a newspaper column about the misadventures of the Dogwood pack. Our pack consists of my six dogs ,two cats, and me. We have the Queen and oldest, Lucy the Lab. Then there's my special Child, Charlie, a German Shepherd/lab mix who owns me. My rat terror (I mean terrier) Hines keeps us in check, while Italian grey hound/terrier mix Daisy destroys the furniture. Our sweet cat Pearl, who passed away in August of 2010 from complications brought on by Feline Leukemia, was a lone feline for her short five year existence. When she passed, orange long hair tabby kitty Bart, and Siamese Flame Point Sebastian moved into our hearts.



When we moved to a new town, I was unable to continue the columns, so we decided to stick our paws into the 21st century.
Since the move, TWO MORE sets of paws run the floors at Dogwood. Linus, a little black lab, and Squirt the Chi-Weenie.

Now that we have moved onto blog media, I will keep the mayhem of my fur kids adventures updated as they happen. I also want to post special needs animals and stories about shelters and people who are doing wonderful work for rescue. Since this is no longer edited or censored--you may see images that are a bit more shocking, and read copy that has a bit more venom--so be prepared. Thank you all for reading!!!!!!!!!



TO COMMENT: Write your comment in the open box and select ANONYMOUS. You can sign your name in your comment so we know who said what-LOL





Tuesday, August 30, 2011

SAVANNAH SAVED--BUT STILL NEEDS YOUR HELP!!!

German Shepherd Dog: An adoptable dog in Clarksville, TN







Medium • Adult • Female
Savannah is a 5 year old black and tan German Shepherd who weighs 40 pounds. She is a sweet and gentle girl who appears to have had puppies recently. She is a precious girl!


LAST WEEKS ADOPTABLE CANINE at Clarksville Animal Control, SAVANNAH, was pulled by the CLARKSVILLE HUMANE SOCIETY when lovely STEPHANIE GEEWAX stepped forward to VOLUNTEER as a FOSTER PARENT! (GOD BLESS YOU GIRL!)
Though SAVANNAH is safe, and out of the pound, she tested HEARTWORM POSITIVE and will require treatment. Heartworm treatment can be VERY expensive, so ANY donation you can make to the HUMANE SOCIETY would be wonderful.
I make the same challenge I always do--I challenge everyone to donate FIVE DOLLARS. If we spread the word, and we get enough people to donate --WE CAN SAVE THE WORLD --FIVE DOLLARS AT A TIME!
You can use the PAYPAL button on the  Humane Society of Clarksville/Montgomery County website UNDER THE PROGRAMS AND SERVICES TAB at http://clarksvillehumanesociety.org/
NOTATE YOUR DONATION FOR SAVANNAH!!!!!!!!
Or you can mail it to or drop it off  at:

Mailing Address: P.O. Box 571


Admin Office: 940 Tennessee Ave.

(blue building behind Riverside Dr. Arby's)

Clarksville, TN 37041

Phone: (931) 648-8042

PLEASE HELP THIS LITTLE GIRL GET WELL!!!!!!!!!!


FIRST WEEKEND AT THE NEW DOGWOOD FULL OF EXCITEMENT--AND A NEAR STROKE

PICTURED: Charlie--completely wore out after his first escape attempt at New Dogwood

Yes--we finally introduced the Dogwood pack to what will be their new home.
 Last weekend, we hauled Lucy, Charlie, Daisy, Hines, Bart, and Sebastian from Clarksville to the new house in Waverly. Needless to say, after the hour in their kennels, they were not happy once we got there.
I just spent almost 3000 bucks having their backyard fenced in. I had it done in two parts, so that they could either be in the yard, or in the carport. I really thought this was smart, providing them with shade and a place to be when it was wet outside.
TEN MINUTES after we got there and put the kids inside the fence, I was running for my life after Charlie and Hines, chasing them down the hill, up into the hollow, thru back yards, and into the woods.
But I digress.
My father, God love him, was trying to help me get the canine convicts (literally) from the back of the truck into the back yard area. But someone pulled up the drive way and he walked off to go investigate, leaving the gate open. It took two seconds for ALL FOUR dogs to bolt.
Thank God, Lucy and Daisy went straight to my father--but Charlie (who was quite upset by the change of venue) took off like a bullet. He never stopped, he never looked back, he just ran!
Hines, who loves Charlie to death, was right on his heels.
No matter how hard I screamed at them, they just RAN~!
To make a long story short, I caught them. But I thought I was going to have a heart attack when I did.
Welllll, then Charlie slipped out of his collar and took off again. I was spent--no way I could have followed him. I also had Hines bucking in my arms, trying to follow Charlie down the road.
But God watches over old stubborn dogs, and idiots like me. The guy who was installing our satellite had followed me down to the edge of the hill and got hold of Charlie for me.
Then, just to make things more interesting, when I tried to slip Charlie's collar over his head, Hines tried to bite the satellite man.
That's gratitude for you!
Everyone was put back in the fence and they finally all calmed down and laid in the shade of --what else--the dogwood tree there.
Bart and Sebastian had a ball. They climbed everything there was to climb, and got multiple spankings for it.
Needless to say that with two escapes and two acrobats making me claw closer to a nervous breakdown--NO ONE was out of my sight for the rest of the weekend.
But everyone finally calmed down, and mostly laid around the house and snoozed.
It was all calm and happy--until we loaded everybody up for the trip back to Clarksville. BAD DADDY!
Of course, this event scared me to death. Thank God we are up in that hollow away from the highway--but by the hand of God, Charlie and Hines went UP the hollow road and not DOWN towards the highway.
But, like I said--God loves us, and watches over us, and I thank him 10,000 times a day for it.
New Dogwood has officially been christened as the house got six new residents, my heart got a jump start, and THE GATE GOT A LOCK.

ADOPTABLE DOGWOOD FELINE OF THE WEEK:MALIBU



Now here is a sweet face!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Malibu is a 1 year old gray stripe Tabby Domestic Short Hair who weighs 6 pounds. She is such a sweet kitty!


What beautiful eyes! Look deep into them!  Can't you feel that? They're saying, "You want me! You want me!"


FIND OUT MORE BY VISITING THE MONTGOMERY COUNTY ANIMAL

CONTROL PAGE THRU PETFINDER.COM AT  http://www.petfinder.com/shelters/TN20.html.

TO FOSTER AND SAVE THIS BABY--EMAIL MONTGOMERY COUNTY FRIENDS OF THE SHELTER AT

MCFOTS@GMAIL.COM
or visit their FACEBOOK page at "Montgomery County Friends of the Shelter"



ADOPTABLE DOGWOOD CANINE OF THE WEEK: VIOLET

I picked this sweet girl because of her sad eyes and the fact that she looked absolutely terrified at the Clarksville Animal Control. She needs a HOME!
Violet is a 7 month old Doberman/ Lab mix who currently weighs 20 pounds. She is a scared little girl who loves belly rubs.


How can you look at this face and say NO--someone already did that to her.

FIND OUT MORE BY VISITING THE MONTGOMERY COUNTY ANIMAL
CONTROL PAGE THRU PETFINDER.COM AT :
www.petfinder.com/petdetail/20727584
TO FOSTER AND SAVE THIS BABY--EMAIL MONTGOMERY COUNTY FRIENDS OF THE SHELTER AT MCFOTS@GMAIL.COM  or visit their FACEBOOK page at "Montgomery County Friends of the Shelter"

Monday, August 29, 2011

HELP KEEP THE CANINE MIRACLES COMING AT CATS ARE US!!

PICTURED: Little Riley is one of MANY canines who have found refuge at CAU


For over a decade, Cats Are Us has been saving the lives of felines in the Clarksville community.


But few people know about their efforts to save dogs as well.

Cats Are Us has been working with canines of all sizes and breeds for several years, utilizing the small area of kennels and runs in their back yard. They have saved puppies, injured animals, and given sanctuary to dogs that others have deemed “ugly” or “unadoptable”.

Sweet Phoebe was one such case. She was abandoned beside the Cats Are Us dumpster in the middle of the night several years ago. Poor Phoebe had only one eye, crooked teeth, and half of one ear. Though she was not a “looker”, her heart was very loving. But it was thought that no one would adopt her, and that she would spend the rest of her days at the shelter.

How wrong that assumption was. Phoebe was adopted and spent the last five years of her life living as a princess. Her long suffering was rewarded with love, the best of care, and a final resting place.

Her story was an inspiration to me when I first began my adventures in rescue. Though she is gone from this world, her legacy still inspires me today.

Recently I wrote about another rescue named Grace. Grace was rescued from severe abuse. She had been starved so severely that both of her hips were deteriorating and she lost an eye. She was another “unadoptable”.

But the Cats Are Us team saw a loving spirit who wanted nothing more than to give that love to someone else.

Grace was blessed yet again, with wonderful foster moms: Amy Zell and Marion Mellar. These incredible women made tireless efforts towards Graces care and in fundraising towards her health expenses.

And again, God smiled on this little one eyed dog, as she was recently adopted by a family who committed to her future physical needs and the healing that she has long waited for.

There are many more tales like these: lost souls that would have perished if not for the sanctuary given them at that little oasis atop Boot Hill. The faith and love of the Cats Are Us team has made many dreams come true.

But in order to keep these dreams alive, and keep that oasis going, Cats Are Us needs our help.

Right now the kennel spaces where these canine waifs reside is in need of gravel and some fence repair. There is a call for new dogs team volunteers to help walk and care for the animals.

No contribution of time or monetary donation is too small to forward the cause.

Have you been part of a miracle lately? Be part of this one.

You can contribute (with the notation “dogs”) via Paypal at www.petfinder.com/shelters/TN285.html or drop it by the shelter at 119 Providence Blvd. in Clarksville.

Together, we can aid the canine refuge at Cats Are Us in saving lives.



Friday, August 26, 2011

MUSTER SOME LOVE FOR BUSTER!!!















This is little Buster, a 3 to 4 years old poodle mix who became a foster pet thru All God's Creatures Vet Clinic when his owner was no longer able to care for him due to being placed in a nursing home. I know this animal personally--I've loved on him--held him--and received "Lubbins", which made my own kids jealous as all get out!!  BAD DADDY--Kissing strange dogs!
Poor Buster just needs someone to love him.
This from ASHLEY RAMEY at AGC--"

Buster is about 3-4 years old. He was rescued from a pen behind a trailor park as an outside dog. When i got him he had hook and whip worms and a HORRIBLE ear infection!! He does good with other dogs and cats (is in a foster home with 3 dogs and  cats :). He would be ideal for someone who wants a lap dog. He's very calm, not needy, just wants to be near you. Doesn't require alot of activity. Just overall awesome dog with a great personality. I am currently organizing for him to get a knee replacment- possibly. Right now he is being treated for an urinary tract infection. Will be at petsmart this weekend both days from 12-5.
He is good with kids and cats and other dogs. He is crate trained and though it is unclear if he was ever house trained, he has not made any messes inside since he came to AGC.  He is SOOOO Sweet and calm, and he has SOOOO much love to give someone who will take him into their heart forever.
PLEASE--if you could offer BUSTER the home he needs--call ASHLEY RAMEY at ALL GODS CREATURES 931-551-9997.

OLDER CLARKSVILLE DOG NEEDS SOMEONE TO LOVE!!!!!!!!!!!!!


This is BELLA!  This poor thing was found outside by CATS ARE US volunteers, tied to a tree. 
She is skin and bones and has a lot of hair loss from thousands of flea bites. You can't see how bad it is because her skin itself is black.
But BELLA is an older girl, and living outside in the heat and in the runs is trying on her.  She needs to find a retirement type forever home. This sweet girl will love you forever, and is waiting patiently for that special person who needs her as much as she needs them. PLEASE, if you can FOSTER or ADOPT this wonderful older dog, contact TANIA ENGLISH via email at  pyxiecup@yahoo.com .

Thursday, August 25, 2011

ADOPT A NEW BEST FRIEND: FELINE OF THE WEEK

Shadow




Domestic Medium Hair: An adoptable cat in Clarksville, TN
Medium • Young • Female
Shadow is an 8 month old gray Domestic Medium Hair who has gray highlights. She currently weighs 4 pounds. She is a pretty little girl who is a little skittish but who is also very friendly and playful!
FIND OUT MORE BY VISITING THE MONTGOMERY COUNTY ANIMAL

CONTROL PAGE THRU PETFINDER.COM AT :
http://www.petfinder.com/petdetail/20681954
TO FOSTER AND SAVE THIS BABY--EMAIL MONTGOMERY COUNTY FRIENDS OF THE SHELTER AT MCFOTS@GMAIL.COM or visit their FACEBOOK page at "Montgomery County Friends of the Shelter"

ADOPT A NEW BEST FRIEND: DOGWOOD CANINE OF THE WEEK

Savannah




German Shepherd Dog: An adoptable dog in Clarksville, TN

Medium • Adult • Female
Savannah is a 5 year old black and tan German Shepherd who weighs 40 pounds. She is a sweet and gentle girl who appears to have had puppies recently. She is a precious girl!
FIND OUT MORE BY VISITING THE MONTGOMERY COUNTY ANIMAL
CONTROL PAGE THRU PETFINDER.COM AT :    http://www.petfinder.com/petdetail/20590406
TO FOSTER AND SAVE THIS BABY--EMAIL MONTGOMERY COUNTY FRIENDS OF THE SHELTER AT MCFOTS@GMAIL.COM  or visit their FACEBOOK page at "Montgomery County Friends of the Shelter"


THE LICK-A-LOTA-PUSS of DOGWOOD


Throughout history, certain geographic regions of the world have been identified as the home of strange creatures, unidentified by science or man.

In the Scottish Highlands, “Nessie”, is believed to inhabit Loch Ness.

The Pacific Northwest region of North America is noted as the home of the illusive and rather pungent Sasquatch or “Bigfoot”.

Sightings of Lake Champlain’s elusive sea beast “Champ” have been recorded since the early 1800’s.

Dogwood can now be added to the list of the mysterious, the strange and the unexplained.

We probably could have done that before, but let’s just make it official.

We have confirmed sightings and evidence of a terror all our own, currently known to the scientific community as the “Lick –A- lota- puss”. The creature has been characterized as a furry, ferocious beast with an extremely long, silky, and constantly licking, tongue.

Evidence proving its existence consists of a thick, sticky fluid that has been found on anything its whip-like, oral appendage touches. Residue of the fluid has been found on Dogwood’s floors, window sills, cushions, refrigerator, bed posts, clothing, cabinets, etc.

The technical term for this is action is called “spit-tification”.

We also have reports of nocturnal infiltration of human nostrils.

Unlike the fabled creatures that inhabit Loch Ness and the other mysterious destinations, the lick-a-loto-pus is in no way shy for photographic proof to be produced.

Previous attempts at photography or video footage have been blurry and incomplete. Images reveal a small, brown spotted backside, speeding away from the camera. Video footage shot on location is poorly lit, grainy and dark, but appears to reveal what looks like a white leg.

We can verify that there are no humps on the animal in the photos, but the creature does appear to be humping certain pieces of furniture. Bated traps have also failed to bring the creature out into view, though the bait has been mysteriously snatched away.

But it has been established that the creature likes peanut butter.

The Lick-a-lota-puss is a crafty, evasive creature.

Reviews of the sketchy evidence at hand, and a statement made by frightened Dogwood resident “Charlie”, reveal the creature to have a small body and a big attitude. It has been classified under the species of “adorab-lous”.

The creature is believed to be completely harmless and docile as long as a bowl of food, water, and a warm blankee is left in a secluded area such as under the kitchen table.

We at Dogwood have gone public with this story so that you might indentify any others animals of this sort that may have taken up residence in our area.

If you believe you have a Lick-A –Lota -Puss in your home, you are encouraged to proceed with caution and provide extra loving care.

Loch Ness and Lake Chaplain can have their sea monsters, and somebody can tell Bigfoot to keep on walkin’. We don’t need ‘em.

We got us a Lick a Lota Puss.

BREAKIN NEWS!!! LICK A LOTA PUSS HAS BEEN PHOTOGRAPHED!!!!!! SEE THE TONGUE FROM OUTER SPACE!!

Wednesday, August 24, 2011

A PLEA TO ANYONE WHO NEEDS A NEW BEST FRIEND



In June, Better Half and I fostered a sweet baby through Montgomery County Friends of the Shelter, who snatched him from the grim reapers grasp at Animal Control and deposited him into the safe haven of Dogwood.   Because of his sweet floppy ears, we named him BUDDY RABBIT.
Buddy Rabbit stayed with us for most of that month, having suffered a bout of kennel cough that he caught during his time at the pound. But the day finally came and Buddy Rabbit was adopted by a family and began his second chance at a new life.
This morning, I was informed that Buddy Rabbits new life has ended, and that he is back in the custody of Montgomery County Friends of the Shelter. His new family, though loving, is moving and cannot take him with them. So pretty much, his new home of two months has shafted him--but if I start ranting about people who adopt dogs without thinking --I'll never stop--so on with the story.
I CAN'T adopt Buddy Rabbit. Even though we are moving to a 4 acre lot, I still will only have a small fenced in area for my four canine convicts and I will have my hands full trying to recondition them to their new surroundings. I simply cannot take on this plus a poor creature who is on his second go round of trying to find someone to love him forever.  I am more than sure he will have trust issues since he has pretty much been dumped at the pound, lived with us temporarily, adopted, and then dumped again.
PLEASE, if anyone can adopt BUDDY RABBIT, I would be forever grateful. The one good thing his last owners did was help him learn simple commands. He knows, sit, down, and stay. He was always such a good boy when I had him, and he got along with all of my bunch.
PLEASE, if you can help BUDDY RABBIT, contact Montgomery County Friends of the Shelter at MCFOTS@gmail.com or thru their Face Book page at "Montgomery County Friends of the Shelter".


Tuesday, August 23, 2011

FEELING THE HEAT AT DOGWOOD



While feeling the effects of both the electricity bill and the long hot summer, the Dogwood pack has found it hard to be both economical and comfortable.

It’s been a learning process.

To help me feel that I still had some control over my bank account, my electric bill, and my time of arrival at the poor house, I had nailed the thermostat at 72 degrees.

After days of sweating in an air conditioned house, both animal and human morale was low and tempers high. So finally, I stopped trying to do the impossible, stopped being an idiot, and dropped it to 65 degrees.

As the pack breathed a collective sigh of relief, I realized that I had single handedly saved someone from a lynch mob: me.

But even though the house has been more comfortable, my fur bearing housemates still suffer a touch of ornery now and again.

The two water bowls in the kitchen are left over artifacts from an era of space and time when only two animals, Lucy and Charlie, cohabitated at Dogwood. Even though the number of canines and felines increased over the years, the two bowls have always remained sufficient.

That is, until it hit 100 degrees outside, and all six four footed monsters decided that they were all thirsty at the same time. Sparks flew as six furry heads tried to shove in to drink at once.

Then it was on: fat cat vs. little dog in a battle that would prove to be good to the last drop.
Hines, the rat terror (I mean terrier) and feline heavy weight champion of Dogwood ,Bart, squared off like they were trapped in a shoebox, fighting for a chicken nugget. Charlie, Daisy, and even old Lucy ran for cover. Sebastian, my water loving Baptist cat, suddenly turned into a bone dry Methodist and skedaddled.

To cool both tempers and temperatures, two more water dishes were added.

But, once nature runs its course, that extra water intake has to go somewhere.
PT (poop/pee trips) is bad enough in the winter. I freeze my blue jeaned bottom off, waiting for four knuckleheads to locate and desecrate a “perfect” spot in the yard. But in this heat, I can feel my nose hair melting!

It is absolute misery, like waiting for Satan to pick the one perfect coal out of the hellfire.

By the time everyone is done, the whole pack is sweating and panting like escapees from a Georgia chain gang. This leads us back to the water bowl, where the whole cycle starts over.

Oh the pain, the pain.

Hopefully, we will soon feel the cool touch of fall temperatures outside.

Until then, I guess my four legged felons will just have muddle through.
It’s just terrible to think of their suffering as they lie around all day in an air conditioned house, watching “Lassie” on their 32 inch flat screen TV.

CHAINED NIGHTMARE

The other night, I had a dream .

I was waiting for my turn on Judgment Day. Across the throne room of Heaven sat the Lord God, casting judgment on people as they crossed one by one into the light before him. As he reviewed their lives, pictures of those events materialized in the clouds above like a drive in movie.

The guy ahead of me was busy telling me about all the good stuff he did. He was more than confident that God would be pleased with his accomplishments on Earth and would welcome him into Heaven with open arms.

So his turn came and he stepped out into the light before the Almighty God.

God sat silently listening, nodding as the guy rattled on and on about his charity work, his donations, his awards, etc.

About half way through, God held his hand up as if to say, "Wait just a second."
Then God reached out and snapped his fingers, and a big, shaggy dog came running from the clouds and sat at his feet. He was the most beautiful animal I had ever seen, with hair of gold and a smile that could melt hard candy. His eyes were pure starlight, and his bushy tail swished back and forth in happy waves as God petted the dog and told him what a good boy he was. He was perfect, except for one odd thing. Around his neck, there was a dirty, worn out collar and a piece of mangled, twisted chain.

The guy in line ahead of me froze. Though he was dead, he was whiter than any death paler on record. His bugged out eyes were glued to the dog that sat at God's feet, and the nasty chain that hung from the dog's collar.

God continued to pet the dog, and looked at the guy, "By any chance, do you remember this animal?" God asked him.

The guy began to stammer, "I...uh, I um...well you see God, I."

"Do you know this dog?" God asked, a little louder than before.

"It's Duke." The guy said in a whisper. "It's my dog, Duke."

"Tell me," God said, still petting the beautiful creature, "Do you know how Duke got here?"

There was a small silence before the guy said, "He died."

God reached down and fumbled the bit of mangled chain that hung from the dog's neck.

"Yes, he died." He said, and above him materialized an image of the dog as it had perished on Earth. Duke was more of a skeleton than a dog .He was lying crippled in the dirt.

In the image, the bit of chain that now hung from his neck was a full length of about 8 feet , nailed to a tattered, leafless tree. The chain was wrapped repeatedly around the dead hulk of bark. Duke's neck was bloody, chunked, and gashed where the collar and chain had dug the flesh away. His eyes were swelled to the point that they were mere slits in the dogs head. An empty food bowl lay overturned by the remains of a dog house.

I felt sick and looked away. I heard the guy in line ahead of me let out a cry like a small child.

In the image, a man walked by on the way to his car. The dog made a pitiful sound, and he kicked dirt at him, cursed, got into the car and drove away.

The man in the picture was the same guy who now stood before his maker.

The images disappeared, and so did the guy. In a split second, and a flash of light, he was gone.

I woke up, startled and frightened. My Charlie was lying next to me, my Lucy at my head, the Hines dog and the Pearl cat at my feet. We were all safe, alive and well. I realized that it had all been a dream, a nightmare.
But in my heart, I couldn't help but wonder how many Duke's were out there living it for real.





GUNTHER PLAYS DEAD




Sometimes, we take everyday constants in our lives for granted. They are always present, and we never really think of what life would be like without them.

A long time ago, I wrote about a neighborhood stray cat named Gunther.
Before surgery snuffed out his romantic desires, the dastardly tom cat was quite sweet on my little girl Pearl.

Though vetted, vaccinated, and fixed, Gunther fought tooth and nail against the confines of a monogamous home life, choosing instead the wide open spaces of our neighborhood.
We still see him from time to time, strutting across the back yard. He puts in a quick appearance, and then moves on.

Back in January of last year, Better Half and Lucy took an evening stroll around the neighborhood. They saw something that struck a nerve.
Better Half asked, "Have you seen Gunther lately?"
“About a week ago. Why?”
"There's a streak of gray and white fur in the middle of the street about a block up from here." Better Half said sadly. "I think he may have been run over this weekend."
I sat stunned. "Are you sure?"
"There's not much left." Better Half said. "There is just a mash of fur the same color as he was."

I held my head in my hands, not wanting to believe that the little feline hobo had finally became a Madison Street statistic.

I could still see him sitting on the outside sill of the back bedroom window, making goo-goo eyes at my little Pink Foot, while she cooed and rolled on her back, patting the thin glass barrier between them.

Because of Feline Leukemia, Gunther was the only feline friend Pearl ever had. Though they were from different worlds, their relationship blossomed. Only the thin glass kept them from being truly together.
Now they were both gone and the world would be just a little bit sadder because of it.

Needless to say, that was a long weekend.

On Sunday night, Better Half was in the yard with the hounds while I stood on the deck looking out over the parking lot next door.

From the corner of my eye, I saw something move. I squinted in the dim streetlight to see what it was.
Out from under the back of a Jeep Cherokee strutted our dearly departed Gunther.

All I could say was, "You little **** (4 letter exclamatory word of affection and relief).
We couldn't have been happier. He looked up at me from the parking lot, nodded slightly, and then trotted off into the night.

I whispered to myself, "God, tack an angel to that blasted cat!"
I’m pretty sure he did.

Gunther and his guardian angel still stop by ever so often. It gives me comfort to know that, even though my little girl is gone, Gunther is still with us.
He will never be a house cat, but will always be the adopted rascal of our neighborhood,
and always have friends at Dogwood.

MY MILLION DOLLAR IDEAS

As I watched TV the other day, I marveled at the ad for another cheap, plastic, “as seen on TV” product that will make someone rich.

It’s like my Daddy always said, “There’s a sucker born every minute.”
With that in mind, I have decided to market my own ideas for pet products.

The first product is the “Tick ‘Em Off Time Keeper”.
This stylish, water proof wrist watch is attached to a super duper, never break, nylon dog or cat collar and fits snugly and fashionably on your pet.
The highly scientific apparatus gives off the newly discovered “rip-off rays” to drive ticks and fleas from your pet with ease.
But it’s not just a flea and tick preventative!
Does your dog need to know what time it is? “Tick ‘Em Off” can give your pet the exact time… in two different time zones!!!!
In to Dog racing? “Tick Em’ Off” has a built in stop watch!
It’s a multi-miracle bobble!

My next idea would be the “Handy Hairy Pet Toupee”.
Does your dog or cat have PPB (pet pattern balding)? Scientific studies performed in a foreign country at Cat Le Poo University show that 99.9% of all animals carry the “faulty follicle gene”.

But now you can save your pet from those embarrassing bald spots with the “Handy Hairy Pet Toupee”. This scientific marvel covers, smothers, and completely hides thinning and balding in your pet’s fur. Comb it in, or glue it on, and your pet is ready to look like a million bucks!

My biggest idea to date: The Invisible Pet Friend.
Are the furrier members of your house hold lacking attention due to your hectic lifestyle?
Well now, thanks to the miracles of pet science, your pet can enjoy hours of companionship and fun with his new “Invisible Pet Friend”.
Purchase an invisible boy pet or girl pet (extra fee of 59.99 for choice) that will follow your animal everywhere they go!
The “Invisible Pet Friend” is the perfect way to keep your animal satisfied, happy… and completely confused.

So there are my ideas. What do you think?

Of course, all of these items will be offered by my new company-“El-Cheapo”- at amazingly expensive discount prices. These products won’t be available in stores, and supplies will be limited…one per sucker.

Oh wait—I almost forgot to tell you about my best idea yet. I think you will like it.
I call it: “Free Love”.
This product is not to be confused with the 1960’s product of the same name.
There’s no ordering, no mailing, no money involved in this invention. But it will take some effort on the purchaser’s part.

Here’s how you can own “Free Love”.
Find your pet, wrap your arms around them, and give them a big hug.
Full Warrantee issued on each purchase with 100% Satisfaction guaranteed.

Of course, I wrote this column as a lark.
If you want to blow your money, invest it in a life. Support your local shelters.